Two things

PART ONE: This is an unsanctioned honorary post from a male friend of mine, dedicated to all girls who don't put the condoms on the guy themselves, but instead make him fumble around awkwardly alone while the mood evaporates. "I am sick of running the show all the time." Come on, girls, get on it!

PART TWO: To anyone who has ever posted anything negative on Yelp.com, there is a possibility that you are a douche. You might be justified or have good intentions, but you are still at risk for cockiness, stupidity, oblivious self-entitled unreasonable expectations, etc. Get tested, ask your friends. This does not apply to you if you have ever told a fellow yelper that he "sucks dick for quarters", in which case you are not only not a douche, but also my personal hero.