Now, seated on a windowsill by the door of the building so I can charge my computer, I have been lucky enough to see these gems of humanity in action:
A man in a three piece suit, iPod buds in his ears, a briefcase and a Starbucks coffee cup walked towards the door and then noticed that it was already raining. Apparently, this was the worst thing he could imagine. He stopped, sighed, threw his coffee cup in the trash and ripped out his earphones. "REALLY? Already? You can't fucking predict anything these days. It wasn't supposed to start for three hours, it's ridiculous. Why even look at the weather?" Thank you, kind sir, for verbalizing your internal monologue. Can I have a hundred dollars?
A twenty year old sat on the bench and ate a burrito with his mouth open.
The stream of people from classes trying to exit the building is hilarious to watch. Everyone is "eager" to get outside and annoyed that people are stopping in the doorway. Then, when the annoyed person gets to the doorway, he stops to get his umbrella out. Cause and effect, etc.
I fucking hate umbrellas.
The only difference between me and internal monologue guy is that I am blogging and he was talking out loud. We are both anxious. He had nice shoes. I am aware that sometimes my rage is projected self-loathing. It is still raining. I might dedicate my next douche post to the month of April in Massachusetts.
A girl on the phone next to me: "Hi, I have a reservation for this afternoon and I just found out that someone joining us is vegan. I was wondering, are any vegan options on your menu?"
"_________________________________."
"There's no possibility of preparing a pasta without butter or something?"
"_________________________________."
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